I wanted to give my daughter siblings. I got Covid instead.

A close friend was about to start his IVF injection at the same time, but he decided to postpone it at the last minute because there were so many cases of covid in our area. By this time, we were so active in the pursuit of pregnancy that I was astonished to hear them say this, as if the thought had never crossed my mind.

There is no way for me to know for sure if I ever had the virus during this last fertility treatment. The surgical center is in a large medical campus that we set up in the garage, where the Cove 19 also conducts a test drive. We waited almost an hour outside the building for the mask, which we thought was a safer choice than the fertility clinic waiting room, but it brought us closer to the many sick people waiting for the ride home. ۔

I had to remove my mask just before the eggs were actually recovered, as I was under anesthesia and doctors needed quick access to my mouth if I needed a breathing tube.

Five days after the eggs were recovered, we found out that we were positive. I just called the clinic to scare them. The fertility doctor told me a few days later that his staff had not fallen ill. And also that not a single egg they recovered from me was properly prepared. We had no fetuses to use.

Of course, as any fertility treatment practitioner knows, the risks and risks we have taken were worth it. Because it didn’t work for us, I felt defeated and foolish.

In short, we wanted to give Goldie a real brother, but doing so could endanger his mother’s life. This thought bothers me and will stay with me forever, even though I never know how the virus got into our house.

Our nanny, who also experienced coveted symptoms and tested positive three days before us, could pick it up at the supermarket. We could get it from it, either while walking in our neighborhood or playing in the park. But over and over again, the choice to engage in repeated fertility treatments, along with epidemics, fills me with doubt and regret.

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